The cold hard truth

This blog entry includes a little bit of everything, my thoughts on training, insights and also  I try to illustrate and compare my experience to other volunteers to show you that Peace Corps is so different for every single person, we do not experience all the same things, we do not live in the same kind of homes; but we are a united bunch who strive to figure just exactly is our purpose in each of our communities. This question-what am I doing here?- goes through all our minds as volunteers. This is a question we try to figure out in our first three months in site and one that we struggle with continuously and try to fit it into a document that analyzes what we have found out about our own communities and what we can do with our counterparts to better the community. This document is called the "Community Diagnostic"-this is a daunting task to find out what problems exist and who is willing to work with us that is due at early in service training (EIST). Through interviews, surveys, and just my own observations, I discovered a plethora of problems: teen pregnancy, delinquency, gangs, lack of knowledge about sexual health, alcohol abuse, domestic violence, machismo, not to mention the amount of trash that litters the beach and nearly every street.  A few nights of staying awake until the rooster cawed, eleven pages and 9 annexes of graphs later there is still a lot of questions to be answered- Now that I know what problems exist, where do I start? Who is going to work with me? Will my project be sustainable? What happens if nothing changes after two years of working?  Am I going to make a difference? These internal challenges are what makes Peace Corps hard not lack of running water or weird food. 

As volunteers we can't change all these problems we find; this is probably one of the hardest parts in the beginning; it's realizing we need to focus on one or two things and that we need to start small. I knew when I arrived 6 months ago that I wanted to focus on sexual health and teen pregnancy and I just wanted to jump right into it but first I had to find out if that was something my community needed (it is) and I have to start small- I need to teach the young women about self-esteem and empower them, helping them discover their own interests and how to think for themselves because if they don't have respect for their bodies in the first place they aren't going to listen to me when I tell them how important it is use condoms or to abstain from sex.  Side note-I am very excited about a project that I will hopefully be starting in January with the obstetrician, we will be working with a group of adolescent mothers to improve their self-esteem, teach them nutrition, communication skills and other personal health topics to empower them to be better women, mothers, and wives. This was a project that was successfully realized by a volunteer in Piura. Even though Peace Corps isn't an organization that has money to give to our communities we do have an abundance of training resources including manuals written by previous volunteers who have successfully completed projects. The great thing about PC is that I'm not expected to come up with all new ideas; I can take project ideas that have been done in other communities and tweak them to fit the needs of Pimentel- the only thing I need to do and probably one of the hardest is to find community members who are motivated to help facilitate projects because if I do it all on my own it's not sustainable and that's kinda why I'm here, no? 

The first 4 days of early in-service training took place in Chaclacayo, Lima where I had my first 10 weeks of training prior to swearing-in. Going back there was so eye-opening and made me realize how far I had come however it also left me feeling that I still have so much ahead of me. 

6 months ago when I arrived to my Huascaran; I remember looking at the houses, so desolate with the crumbling infrastructure, dirt roads, lack of street lights and being so shocked. What was also shocking was that the training center is located in a community where the houses are bigger, well maintained with high security fences and just a few blocks down you walk through a hole in the wall and there is Huascaran-  6 months ago when I arrived it appeared to me to be like a war zone. When I went back to Huascaran a little over a week ago, I realized how Huascaran is just like the rest of Peru and actually the hole in the wall separating the communities more reflects how it is in America more than it does in the rest of Peru. My friend Sam lives in a town where there is a 5 story beautiful glass house, and right next to it is a tiny-charred house with a tin roof. I've seen a lot of this in my community and other communities-the rich living among the poor, not living on "the other side of the tracks". 

Site envy. This is something that is so hard not to do but I think at some point it probably happens to all volunteers. The grass is always greener, no? My best friend Brittany lives in up in the mountains,6 hours from the capitol city, freezing cold nights, feasting on chicken feet and I still envy her; she gets the "real" Peace Corps experience. Let me explain. At first when I arrived in my beautiful town of Pimentel, not 45 minutes from the capitol city I was elated. I have tutoring classes  once a week and I can escape to Chiclayo to feast on Pizza Hut, McDonald's,  and Starbucks but is this to my detriment? Am I missing out on the true Peace Corps experience because when I'm eating McDonald's french fries I'm not in my house eating desayuno/almuerzo/lunche with my family. This is where one of the times I have to step back and look at our situations; Brittany does live 6 hours from the capitol city but she still goes there; and her capitol, Trujilo, is the 3rd biggest city in Peru and has access to even more luxuries, Papa John's, PinkBerry, TGIF and she has to take a combi or taxi to get most places, where in my capitol city I can pretty much walk anywhere. So then I feel the envy lessen. 

But then... When I walk down the streets very few people know who I am; due to my Latina features I am just a Peruvian face. One of my fellow volunteers suggested I run around the town with an American flag wrapped around me, I seriously considered it. How am I supposed to impact my town if no one knows who I am. My other friend Morgan lives in a town of 300 people, everyone knows who she is, hangs on her every word and I'm in a town of 30,000 how am I supposed to impact 30,000 people? Again, I step back. Yes everyone knows Morgan, but this means she can't ever go anywhere in peace, without gaggles of people all around her and she lacks privacy. I would love to be more noticed in my community and I have to remember that in time I will be; I have a rather large extended host family and so it is rare that I don't see one of the family on the street and after school hours I run into students who wave and smile, shouting out " Hello Ms.Ali!"  I also have to remind myself that I am not expected to impact 30,000; the point of Peace Corps is to make a difference, an impact yes- but I've come to realize that my experience in Peace Corps will and already has, impacted me, changed me and how I see the world and more importantly how I see myself. I am already a different person than I was 6 months ago. I have spent a lot of my life passive, sitting at the side of the action, now I make myself heard. An example:  I was walking by a car full of men and they were whistling and hollering at me and I walked right up to the car and said "that's offensive and I don't like it." They just stared at me blankly so I walked away but if in the future they think twice about whistling at another girl then that's a small victory for me because I instead of just mentally flipping them off (I do this a lot and if I'm not in Pimentel I often just flat out do it) I took action and possibly changed, even if it was for just a second, their perception of a woman as someone who is supposed to passively accept the cat-calling.  I look up to my fellow Lambayeque volunteer, Betty who has taken to saying the following  things in hopes to change the actions of people in her community:

• ‘Sir, that is not a bathroom. Please don’t pee there’
• ‘Ma’m, did you know burning trash is toxic for the lungs?’
• ‘Sir, please do not smoke with your two-month-old baby in the house’
• ‘Little girl, don’t kick that puppy.’
• ‘Sir, cat-calling is disrespectful and it makes me uncomfortable’
• ‘Ma’m, pick up your trash and throw it in the garbage can that is right there, literally two steps away’

As volunteers we are told to be sensitive to the cultural differences in Peru and were told that sometimes we have to keep our mouths shut if we want to be accepted and integrated into our communities. Here is what Betty says to that and I completely agree: 

"I cannot pretend to support and accept everything I witness for fear of being shunned or standing out.  The reason I am here is to make a community more conscious of the things they need to improve and then help them work on it. I can’t accomplish that by being a passive observer.  I have learned to speak up and point out ‘HEY, that’s not ok.; ...Being able to point these things out makes me feel accomplished. These tiny drops of awareness are a part of my contribution."

I just love that girl, she is a wise wise woman. 

Ok so back to EIST. It was so wonderful going back to my Lima host family. Up north where I live now, Peruvians tend to talk much faster and many don't enunciate their words. Going down to Lima was a breath of fresh air, I was able to talk to my host sister on a level I hadn't been able to before. Before I left for Pimentel, 3 months ago I still hadn't really understood anything my Lima host brother had said to me but when I went back I understood pretty much everything he said except I thought he said pescado but he really said plato and we had a very confusing conversation until my host sister clarified for me, so I'm not advanced yet but 6 months ago I was at a novice-mid and now I'm at intermediate-high bastante fuerte. Yes I'll take that thank you. 

It was also soooo great to see the other youth volunteers from my training group. Save the 19ers in Lambayeque I hadn't seen any of them in 3 months and it was exciting to hear all the different stories. We all have such different experiences but at the same time we are all going through the same kinds of things, it's hard to explain but it's like yes we all live in different communities, different houses, with different kinds of families, but there is a commonality between us that makes the Peace Corps family so special. We are all here trying to figure the world out and we take our different steps but we're in the end we are really all here together. Great, now I sound like a hippie. 

 The last two days of EIST we were split up-half went to Ica and half went to Trujilo. I was a little bummed I was sent to Trujilo since I had field based training there but we were busy anyways so I wouldn't have been able to really explore Ica and now it's just another excuse to go see Morgan, Carla, and Mike.  In a town about 45 minutes out of Trujilo we gave charlas about the prevention of HIV/AIDS because Dec 1 was World Aid's Day and the following day we went to Sue 's site in San Pedro and had a volleyball tournament (no I didn't play are you kidding? I did do some cheers though- D-E-F-E-N-SE what does that spell? CONDOMS!! WOOOO. Haha yup that's what I get being best friends with a former cheerleader. 

EIST was exactly what I needed to rejuvenate, to back pedal and take a look and see what I had accomplished and be proud of what I had done and build an excitement, a fire inside,  that needed rekindled. Now that I've been back in Pimentel for a week, I can't lie to you and say I jumped right back into everything ready to take on the world like I had imagined my last day of training. I've slowly been easing back into it all, I felt a little over-whelmed after being surrounded by other volunteers for a week and half and then returning to my house alone. However I'm so glad to be back and I'm so excited for everything that is going to come. Thank you friends for all your support, it means so much to me!!! Also Christmas present idea? LETTERS!!!! also there is a list  in my "about me" section :p just saying...but really I can't let you all think I'm a completely self-sacrificing person now can I? 

Things will happen in your life that you can't stop but that's no reason to shut out the world

3 months of service, gone. Feels like I blinked and now I'm a quarter through my first year as a volunteer.

Brittany and I  came up with a new catch phrase, it's called "getting Peru-ed". In Peru, as Peace Corps Volunteers, we come across external factors that affect our day to day lives, many of  these factors are cultural and are out of our control we have to get to a point of accepting these cultural differences but sometimes we just need to complain. Getting Peru-ed includes but not limited to:  a meeting starting more than 30 minutes late, eating weird animal parts (for example chicken feet, sheep intestines, cow blood), a Peruvian saying "yes" but they actually mean " no" and on the same side-Peruvians not accepting "no" as an answer, a Peruvian telling you that they will be there in 5 minutes but 30 minutes pass,  post office workers not attending during their hours of attention, etc.  Don't take my bitching the wrong way, I'm not trying to paint an ugly picture of Peru, this is my home now and I love it.  Peru is a beautiful place with people who are caring, loving, and loyal and I feel so lucky to be able to share this experience with all of you; the phrase "getting Peru-ed" is our way of shrugging our shoulders, laughing it off and continuing to love Peru with all it's imperfections.

Vacation-aka rejuvenation-was amazing. This blog post is just a recap of my vacation, I'm very excited about it and to me the whole journey of my vacation is worth mentioning so it's a pretty lengthy description but I am humble enough to realize that it may not be as exciting to others so I'm sorry if you're eyes start to glaze over whilst reading. I'll try to keep it interesting; things to look forward to: the heels of my boots fell off-both of them and Lady Gaga gave birth to herself on stage.

 I had some doubts before leaving for my vacation because some of my fellow volunteers were going on adventurous trips like Chachapoyas in the Amazonas to see a beautiful waterfall or the Colca Canyon in Arequipa and I was going to Mira Flores in Lima, somewhere I had already visited and is basically like being in America. I'm happy to tell you I have absolutely no regrets now about my trip to Lima. This vacation was exactly what I need to recollect and it was wonderful to getting see my best fran Brittany, sweet sweet Morgan and other volunteers. Before taking the long overnight bus ride down to Lima I stopped in Trujilo, La Libertad to meet my best fran Brittany, (we both jumped up and down and screamed when we saw each other) we spent the night in Huanchaco, a beautiful little beach town where we met up with some volunteers and had a fun night at local bar. On Thursday, Thanksgiving Day, we spent the part of the day on the laying on the beach but the ocean broke my shoes :( (and no I'm not referring to my boots, we'll get to that)

I was walking along the beach when the tide came up and broke my shoe wah wah wah

here I am trying to fix my shoes, I would have gone barefoot but the sand was SOOOO HOT

here is my temporary solution, that's a hair tie there

Then we returned to Trujilo and ate PAPA JOHN"S!!! My first bite of that warm dough and melted cheese (my mouth is watering as I type) was glorious; at the moment I was not jealous of the volunteers who had gotten together to make traditional Thanksgiving food because taking a bite of that Papa John's pizza (dipped in garlic sauce of course) was like being at home. If you know me at all you know I'll take pizza over any food any time, especially Papa John's pizza. Brittany and I discussed it, we agree the dough is what makes it so magical.

Later that night...
 Brittany is a HUGE Twilight fan and I'll admit I was a fan of the books but all the  movies were pretty horrible but she dragged me to the final movie and I actually enjoyed it, not ashamed to say it, ok maybe a little ashamed. Before going to the movie  Brittany had said she was pretty certain our bus was at 10:30-Brittany had bought our bus tickets in advance a couple weeks prior but had since lost them; I love that girl to pieces but I have never met anyone who loses things as easily as she does, if you think I'm forgetful you need to meet this girl. Brittany if you are reading this, I know you know this about yourself and you know I love you anyway. Anyways the movie got over around 9:30 and so we figured we had plenty of time to get back to the hostel to recoger our stuff and get on the bus. WRONG! The bus was at 10pm and we got to the bus station around 10:05. Oops. The lady at the counter wasn't helpful at all, usually if you lose a ticket they will print out a new one for a small fee but since we had missed our original bus time they wouldn't print off a new ticket for a new bus time so poor Brittany had to buy two new tickets to Lima; I offered to pay but she said that since she was the one who lost the tickets she paid for them.

On Friday morning we arrived in Lima and dropped our stuff off at Hostel Pariwanna. If you are ever in Lima I highly recommend this hostel; it has a really great atmosphere, free breakfast (tea/coffee/bread/jam isn't much but it's enough for a volunteer like me), a nice bar on the rooftop, and the staff is really great. Brittany and I met up with 2 other volunteers and the four of us shared our room with 4 dudes. I had never shared a hostel with people I didn't know but I recommend it. Sure you want to be careful, lock up your stuff and whatnot but it's an opportunity to meet people from different parts of the world. Our roommates were from London, Peru, Canada, and I'm not sure about the 4th guy. Anyways us girls went shopping in Lima to look for some new clothes for the Lady Gaga concert and I had come across a boot sale-2 pairs for 100 soles. That's like 50 bucks and they were really cute! However I learned my lesson about buying cheap shoes because as I was getting into the taxi to go to the concert the heel of my boot fell off and as I was exiting the taxi the other heel broke off, I had to stand at the concert in boots without heels. Later we went back to the store but they wouldn't give me my money back but they did take them to a "repair shop" and had the heels super-glued back on- Peru-ed.

Back to the concert- AMAZING! Lady Gaga is a crazy talented person, I mean to say that she is crazy, but she is also talented. She changed her costume (can't call it anything but costume) in between almost every song and had some pretty wild stage pieces. Imagine one of those stage pieces as a  big blow up bouncy houses but instead of a bouncy house imagine that it's a blow up version of Gaga's legs and her cooch. Now imagine Lady Gaga herself exiting out of the cooch  whilst singing "Born This Way"- pretty rad. She is quite strange  but she is sincere. She pulled some of her fans on stage and got really personal with them it was very sweet; one of her "little monsters" was bawling his eyes out sitting next to her while she played the piano. I had soooo fun much dancing along to my favorites, "Disco Stick" and "Bad Romance". Good times-great oldies.

Saturday was a great day of relaxation. We went out to eat at a wonderful sandwich place "La Lucha" and I laid around in my bed and read more of Harry Potter in Spanish. Saturday night we went on a hunt for sushi and finally arrived at an all-you-can-eat sushi place, we got there about a half hour before closing so we had to order fast but we were warned that if we had to pay extra for the pieces we didn't eat. I ordered 5 maki rolls and 1 dessert roll (strangely tasty- coconut, caramel, rolled in rice and with ice cream). I ate 31 pieces I knew if I had eaten anymore I would have barfed so I shared with the ladies but they too felt like barfing so I put the remaining 2 pieces in a napkin and stuffed it into my hoodie so I wouldn't be charged the extra. Man I'm so classy.
On Sunday we headed back to Chaclacayo to see our training host families. It was so great to see them.

Ok I'm going to put an end to this post I'm sorry it was so long but like I said I thought my vacation was so great and if you can believe it I left things out!!! My next post will be about my early in service training. I'll try do to that soon! Enjoy the pictures. Love you all mucho!!!!

Here is an artisan lady doing some work, she was explaining it but none of us understood her :/

my girl Brittany and I 

Not sure if you can tell but these books are all wrapped in plastic , Brittany and I were in a book store where all the books are wrapped in plastic and I thought it was pretty strange, apparently in here you do judge a book by it's cover

this is Brittany's "I can't believe I misplaced the tickets and that we missed the bus and then I had to buy two new tickets " face 

the ladies and I before the concierto de Lady Gaga

Here is my Lima host family, they are eating the lasagna I made for them

In Lima there is a restaurant called Burrito Bar that we had heard about from many volunteers but we hadn't been there until this trip. It has the BEST burritos I've e ever tasted in my life, that or it's just been a long time since I had a burrito: >6 months. I was pretty stoked about this place and they had chips and salsa (not free in Peru) which isn't common here either

I was beyond excited!

nom nom nom

World AIDS Day facilitation- this wasn't what my group did for ours but I really liked this idea so I captured it 

Sandy and Casey with some of Peruvian students who made decorated the wall. 

My title is a quote from Now and Then, I was watching it while my pictures were loading; (Yes it does take that long!)

could I BE more thankful?

This will be a short post (well short compared to my other posts) and when I have more time I'll write an update and what I've been up to but just for now I wanted to give a virtual shout out to everyone and everything I'm thankful for.

-I'm thankful I haven't pooped my pants yet
-I'm thankful that I haven't been robbed
-I'm thankful I haven't been in a horrible transportation accident (I'm pretty terrified I am risking my life every time I get on public transportation here)
-I'm thankful that I'm going to see Lady Gaga in concert tomorrow woot woot!

Ok on a sappier note:
 In case it isn't obvious I am very thankful for being here in Peru as a Peace Corps volunteer, I can't believe I've made this far I am so proud of myself and so thankful for all things,good and bad, that have happened in my life to bring me to this place that I now think of as my home. I am so thankful for my all my families: in Pimentel, my Lima family during training, and my states family. Without their openness, love, and caring  this wouldn't feel like home; and of course thankful for my states family especially my mother she is an amazing woman and I feel so lucky to have been raised by her and for raising my brother Bryan who is a great father and so glad I get to skype with my nieces and nephew every once in a while. I am thankful for my friends back home who are continuing to keep in touch and am even thankful for the ones who I don't stay in touch with as often because life is a crazy long rollercoaster ride and at some point we were on it side by side enjoying the hell out of it and hopefully now they are side by side enjoying it with others. I am thankful for my Lambayeque volunteer family, I can't imagine living in any other department you are all awesome and we are probably the best department just saying but I'm jealous of other departments who have my best girls Brittany and Morgan who should probably just move to Lambayeque ;P just kitten
 I am thankful for everyone in my life who got me to this point, I am even thankful for the people who didn't think I could do it because I am a stronger person now and can recognize that I don't need people like that in my life.
I'm a lucky gal, I hope you guys all have a wonderful thanksgivng love you mucho!!!!!

5 months in Peru

Disclaimer: There is no cohesiveness to this entry, I’ve just had a word document open while my pictures are uploading and when I remember something I stuff it in here.

October FLEW by. I can’t believe it is November already and that I have been in Peru for 5 months!

There were a couple times I got reallllly homesick this last month: UNI’s homecoming and Halloween; however I ended up having really fun experiences here that helped me miss them less. On UNI’s homecoming weekend, I went into it really bummed out; I saw everyone’s facebook updates about being in CF and I felt pretty low but then on that Saturday we had going away festivities for Peru 16 and I had a fucking blast!!!! We learned the ganam style dance on the rooftop of the PC hostel and then we went out into the Chiclayo (our department’s capitol city) and performed the dance in the plaza, on the street, in a restaurant, it was pretty great. I still can’t dance but I was having so much fun I wasn't embarrassed at all! You can view these performances here: 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTuCX3CetVI

here we are in the hostel post filming our awesome dance moves

On Halloween I wanted to host a “Celebración de Halloween” and play games like bobbing for apples, mummy wrap, pin the nose on the Jack-O-lantern, make some masks, and the best part: show Hocus Pocus (in Spanish) in the main plaza in Pimentel. Unfortunately in Peru things don’t always work out the way you want them too so I had a small group of students from one school (out of all the students from about 10 schools in the community) and they showed up late (of course) and the teachers couldn’t stay late enough for us to watch the movie so the games went pretty well but I was pretty bummed about not being able to show Hocus Pocus, oh well hopefully next year!!!!  But that wasn’t what made Halloween awesome, I actually went to visit another volunteer’s site and some of the volunteers came too and we had a BLAST. We danced, drank some beers, and then in the morning we went to Chongoyape which is a B-E-A-UUUtiful part of Lambayeque; I saw a monkey!!!! I got to hold its leash and it tried drinking out of my water bottle, I wish I had my camera on me but another volunteer snapped this:

Seriously, if you know me at all, you know that is like a dream come true! Can’t wait to go to Iquitos-Monkey Island, it’ll be magical.

Still running!!! I had to stop for about a week because I was sickly but I’m feeling better so I’m starting up again and it feels so great!!! I’ve also added some ab work outs and yoga so I’m hoping to look hot for Mancora come New Year’s!!!!  

One reason why October went by so fast was because it was Pimentel’s anniversary and in Peru, town anniversaries are a BIG DEAL. It’s like a two week celebration, they didn’t completely stop working for the whole two weeks but they had a lot of activities going on during those two weeks so it was hard to get work done at the municipality which I think is partly why my Halloween plans weren’t very successful because the anniversary festivities had just ended. Anyways here are some pictures from Pimentel’s serenata; it was pretty fun Marisol was there and apparently they are a big deal in Peru. I was also pretty stoked to see fireworks since I missed out on them for 4^th of July.

This is called a castillo, it shoots of fireworks

this is a dance that represents the Legend of Naylamp, don't ask me what the Legend was I have no idea but the dance was cool

OK I have two stories about how small this world is. First one, in transit to visit another volunteer I met a little girl from Iowa!!! She spent the first 8 years of her life in Oskalooska and her family is Peruvian and recently moved back to Chiclayo. Craziness. Second one, a few weeks ago Sam (volunteer in the community next to mine) and I were in my super market and this girl calls out his name and they start talking and she is from his hometown of San Antonio but they haven’t seen each other for like 7 years because she went away to study in Spain and is now living in Pimentel with her husband teaching in Chiclayo!!!! Mind blown.

I’ve started reading Harry Potter in Spanish, I’m only one chapter in but I LOVE it!!!! There are so many words I don’t recognize but I am able to decipher what they mean because I know the book so well. I got all 7 in Spanish and English downloaded on my Kindle so if I’m really stumped in the Spanish version I can do a quick check for meaning in my English version! Yay. Weird translation side note: “He-Who-Must-Not be-Named” becomes “Quien usted sabe” in Spanish which directly translated means “You know who”.  

Election day is almost here, I hope you guys are getting out there and voting!!! I’m pretty bummed I didn’t get my absentee ballot back in time L Hopefully Obama will get another 4 years!

When I eat food it is not uncommon for me to find that my food still has a face, skin, bones, and yes hair. By face, skin, and bones I’m referring to being served an entire fish- head, scales, and its insides; I can’t bring myself to eat the head or skin but I the meat on the bones is YUMMY! By hair I don’t necessarily mean that there is human hair found in my food (that does happen) but I’m more referring to when I get a piece of meat with animal hair still on it *shudder* I just took my spoon (Peruvians eat with spoons not forks, I’m the only one who uses the one and only fork in my house) and ate around the hairy parts.  Also when I eat food I’ve come across an ant or two, you know what I do then? I shrug/sigh and pick the little guy out of my food and keep eating. Can you imagine? Life has a changed.

Thanksgiving is coming up and there is sooo much to be thankful for this year! I will probably make an entire blog post about everything I’m thankful for next!!! Keep it weird guys, love you!

Betty did my nails, aren't they pretty???

homemade pineapple salsa, cost me less than $1.00 be jealous

Below are the pictures of my Celebracion de Halloween, kind of entertaining for me hope you like them too!