Today I’m
supposed to be in Chachapoyas, a beautiful mountainous region of Peru…I had
planned to go on a 3 day hike with some fellow volunteers (ME, a hike, yes I
was rather pumped about it). However, due to it being the rainy season we
decided not to risk being stuck in mud in the middle of nowhere and seeing as
how the likelihood of me slipping off a cliff and plummeting to my death will
be less likely during the dry season, I think it’s best I put off the trip
until later in the year. So now I am
getting ready to leave for Trujillo-Huanchaco. Even though I’m bummed about
having to change my plans I’m excited to visit Trujillo once again. I have a
soft spot for the place…probably has something to do with access to Papa John’s,
frozen yogurt, and Chili’s and a little bit to do with the beautiful Spanish architecture
there. It’s definitely time for a vacation; the past week has been a
rollercoaster. Samuel Heinz, my fellow
19er, my neighbor, one of my best friends, has decided to return to the states
for good. Last night I was in Chiclayo to despedir
him at the bus station- While part of me is sad he won’t be around anymore, I’m
so happy and grateful to have gotten to know someone so incredibly
remarkable. Sam is that person who
always has a smile on his face and can see the silver lining in anything, I
don’t think anyone of us 19ers or Lambayequers can say we haven’t benefited
from his positive energy. I can’t imagine what the past 7 months would have
been like without Sam; he will be missed by many. It’s funny how fast things
can change, and by funny I also mean a little unsettling. On the other hand, some things (my projects)
move very slowly and that has also been part of my frustration this week. I’ve
been trying to get more projects going but it’s been difficult to rally support
from my community and I’ve also lost some motivation lately. Hopefully when I
get back from vacation and have cleared my head some more I can be a little
more motivated. Just keep swimming.
Last night
I was conversing with my sweet mother on the phone and I told her that lately I
was afraid I had turned into an alien. She guffawed at me and I explained to
her this: I’m a very emotional person, at least I was… I would cry at anything -happiness,
sadness, anger, excitement, stress- but lately I haven’t felt that. I was feeling
worried for not being able to conjure up tears even though many things have
been going on lately that would usually send me into fits of sobbing. My mother
told me that was a part of growing up and it was also a part of guarding myself.
Initially, I thought that was a little ridiculous because I wasn’t trying to
guard myself at all, at least I’m not making a conscious effort to do so.
However after having thought about it more today, I really have grown up with
this experience and I’ve become less emotional-a little unsettling to have such
a big part of personality change like that but after having watched this video,
tears welled up in my eyes and I knew I hadn’t turned into an alien. Maybe I’ve
just grown out of stress/angry tears and now I’m only leaking happy/very sad
tears and I decided I’m ok with that. Now watch this video: same love
“…Pity those
who live without love” part of one of my favorite quotes in the world and right
now as the supreme court is deciding on marriage equality, I feel deep pity for
the people who do not understand love
and are fighting against it. Why are people arguing about this, love is the
very best part of living, why shouldn’t everyone be included in sharing it?
Ok I'll get off the podium now, Love you
all.
