The One with the Last Blog Post

Please forgive me; this isn’t in any order that really makes sense, just sharing my last moments in Pimentel and also my life since being back. Enjoy.

I cannot believe it’s been nearly 2 months since I left mi querido Pimentel.  I also can’t believe how quickly it felt like a dream and was certain I hallucinated. However it quickly comes back to me that I was gone for two years in a developing country when I walk into a building and complain about how freezing it is with AC on, how I mentally cringe when people throw away food that could have been eaten (I’m not saying I always finish everything on my plate, nor do I expect that but I just notice more how excessive waste is in this country), how walking into COSTCO nearly made me fall to my knees, throwing my TP in the trash can for the first several weeks, there are a plethora of things that take getting adjusted to but I’m getting there.

It has taken me so long to write this not because I’ve been so busy or have been trying to craft a wonderfully written piece about the end of my service but rather, I just couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to process it all, like writer’s block. I don’t do it as often or as well as I’d like but I tend to process my emotions by writing them down. There were so many conflicting emotions about me leaving one home for another home, everything was so fresh, the goodbyes and tears vs. America- so shiny and new, hugging and loving on my friends and family members.

 Two months of being back have flown by but I know that my Peace Corps experience is going to stay with me for the rest of my life. It has changed the very core of me. I am a stronger, more independent, confident woman. I can’t say there aren’t things I wish I had done differently during my two years as a Peace Corps volunteer but I will never regret my decision to do Peace Corps. The Peruvians in Pimentel will always have a special place in my heart, they taught me so many things about love and family, giving, acceptance, compassion, humility, solidarity, the list goes on and on. I can say without hesitation that I have met some of my soul mates during this two year journey. Not the kind of soul mates in a Nicholas Sparks novel but the kind of soul mates that inspire you to be a better person, when you look at them you are in awe of their strength and ability to overcome adversity, the kind of people who will laugh with you through your tears of anger and frustration, to ease the pain the of being away from our American life. For the rest of my life when I meet someone who was a Peace Corps volunteer (and enjoyed it) we will share a tiny connection, a love for the country we served in for two years, maybe a joke about how awful the transportation was (I’m fairly certain doesn’t vary much); I know that not everyone has a great experience, some people have an ok experience and stay, some hate it and leave but my hope is that everyone is proud of themselves for even trying.  

I don’t consider myself “moving on” from my Peace Corps experience. It’s a part of me now; it’s not that this chapter of my life is over, it’s continuous, I will stay in contact with my family and friends in Pimentel and of course my PCV loves, I will forever be sharing stories of life in Peru. I’m certain I wouldn’t have gotten the job I have now without my experience as a PCV, the lady who hired me told me that was a huge reason she wanted to interview me. It’s not my forever job, it’s not something I imagined myself doing- being on the phone in front of a computer all day with clients vs having face to face interactions with them but I know that it’s going to help me get to where I want to go. I know that I would have never appreciated being back in Des Moines so much; if I had done grad school right after college I doubt I would have come back to Des Moines for such a long period of time (I’m planning a year while I apply to schools) and reconnected with old friends….There’s a new man in my life, at the risk of being very vague, I’ll just say I’m happy when I’m with him, it’s very new and right now I’m not looking for a happy ending here but I’m definitely enjoying the new beginning.

Saying goodbye

For the first year you count up “I’ve been here for 1 month, 2 mo, 3 mo…” then at the second year, you count down “I’ve got 6 months, 5 mo, 4 mo…” Then it’s the final three months and all 36 of us head to Lima for final med checks,  all together processing that we are so close to finishing. 

In those final months I was so ready to go, I had mentally packed everything I was taking back with me, I had started applying for jobs, I planned my last vacation days, spent time eating my favorite foods and hanging out with my favorite people…it’s not that I wasn’t sad about leaving my Pimentel home or that I didn’t have little mini panic attacks about coming back, How would I fit in with my friends?  Or Would I get a job? Or Oh, god NO ONE is going to date me, I’m soooo weird, all those thoughts and many others crossed my mind but I was positively giddy about seeing all my friends and family in the U. S. of A.  I had honestly burnt myself out, by those final months I just wanted to be home, it wasn’t until my final weeks in my Peruvian home that I was actually devastated about leaving and it hit me that I was not likely to come back for a few years.  

Watching my host family run around the house getting things ready for my farewell party the night before my departure was humbling. I walked into my host sister’s home and hugged her tightly after I saw all the food and decorations they prepped for it, I had given them money for the party but they went above and beyond my expectations-I knew full well that the entire family pulled together their finances to help put a little extra  towards this shin dig. I won’t go into all the details of the party but I can just say it was not a night I will be forgetting.  After the toast, I addressed my family and friends-I could barely keep it together, it took every bit of my strength to not cry in this moment, feeling love exude from my Peruvian family and friends in the room. Later one of my host sisters came up to me and said “We were all waiting for you to cry when you gave that speech, we knew that the minute that you started crying we would be too, but since you were so strong we knew we could be strong too.” My tears were for the next day, that night was for laughter and dancing.

I could feel tears start to sting the corners of my eyes as I set all my packed luggage outside of my bedroom  to be hauled to the bus station in under an hour, then looking around the room that I had made my comfort zone for two years… it was jarring. By this time, many of my host family members had starting filling up the front of the house waiting for to me to finish, to say their final goodbyes  and some waiting to accompany me to the bus station.  I made my way to them and we began posing for pictures and this is the point where I let go. Tears flowed freely; you’ll see in these photos that I am red nosed and red eyed. I have no shame, these are beautiful pictures, it signifies how much these people mean to me and the impact they have made on my life. 

A small group of us made our way to the bus station including my host mom and some of my host sisters and brothers. I was exhausted and done crying. Sitting in the car on the way to Chiclayo, I felt like there were no more tears to be had, I had dried myself out. When we got to the bus station some of my friends had met us there, one of them being a fellow PCV and I said to him, “I don’t think I’m going to cry again, I’m so tired.” Soon, the bus was calling to board and I started hugging everyone individually, it wasn’t until I was hugging my unbelievably sweet host niece who was basically like my sister, that I completely lost it. I was blubbering by this point, then at last when I hugged my mother goodbye, I was incomprehensible, all I did was wail “maaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaaa”. Nope not dramatic at all. I boarded the bus a snotty mess, once I sat down in my seat, I looked out the window and my family and friends were all waving to me from the door, blowing kisses and taking pictures.   “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

The following days in Lima leading up to my departure were a scramble of paperwork and goodbyes between volunteers who chose July 15^th as our last day as a Peace Corps Volunteer. . Peru 19ers, I will always always carry a special place in my heart for these 36 humans who boarded the plane with me from Miami to Lima on June 8^th, 2012 and finished their two years of work in Peru.

Finally, on July 16^th, I sat on the plane back to America…a truly tremendous feeling knowing I had accomplished something really incredible-no I didn’t’ really bring change you can see, or if I did, I won’t know,  but I had real relationships with people who were once strangers, community members who became family, loving each other and sharing our cultures… I leaned back and thought, nailed it

Pasa La Voz Profile

Peace Corps Peru has a newsletter for and by volunteers called "Pasa La Voz"; every year there is a section of profiles written by the volunteers who are leaving. Here are the list of questions I selected to answer for the newsletter. I copied and pasted what I had written but in italics I wrote explanations/translations for those who probably won't get my PC lingo and added pictures :p  Enjoy.

<100 word summary of service written in third person:

For Alicia the most important part of service has been the relationships she has built. Alicia is certain she could not have made it two years without the support and inspiration from all sides, Peruvians, PCVs, especially the 19ers, (you beautiful, amazing group), and love from home.  Her service was been anything but easy but it was an amazing adventure.  Alicia hopes to be remembered not only for her Harry Potter tattoos (not for that hangry side you don’t want to cross…yikes) but as a great friend who sometimes hated but mostly loved the rollercoaster that is Peace Corps.

COS PROFILE QUESTIONS: <500 words

What was the best compliment you received during your time here?

“Are you from Brazil?” Thank you, Sir!

What is the weirdest thing you’ve eaten? Suri (grub) from the jungle.

What Peruvian article of clothing or accessory are you planning to rock when you return Stateside?  My kicka** high tops from Cusco.

Good toilet paper substitute: Notebook paper, yep it happened.

What will you miss the most about Peru/your site? My host mama, María.

think I could fit her on my carry-on?

Have you left Peru in the past two years? If so, where did you go? I went home to Iowa for Christmas and Ecuador for New Years, Montañita is amazing.

"home is people not a place"

these women are incredible people

Favorite/least favorite Peruvian dish? Favorite: Ceviche on the beache. 

(read: sa-vee-chae on the bea-chae) Least: Pescado de Caballa. 

(to me it tastes like the ocean water)

had to take this from google because whenever a plate of ceviche is set before me it is gone before I can think to take a picture

How many cell phones/bank cards/USBs/sunglasses/cameras/girlfriends/boyfriends have you gone through? I’m on my 3^rd cell, 3^rd USB, 3^rd pair of sunglasses, 6^th or 7^th bank card (don’t remember), 2^nd camera, and 0 boyfriends.

What’s your favorite place in all of Peru? Machu Picchu.

Do you think you’ll come back and visit Peru? How long will it be? Yes definitely but I don’t know when, it could be 1 year or it could be 5 years.

Did you pick up any new hobbies or activities? Running, I used to hate it but now I love it.

Favorite feriado in Peru? It’s a tie, Carnavales in Cajamarca and Semana Santa weekend in Ayacucho.

Really awesome Peruvian celebrations. 

fire regulations? pshhh- Holy Week Ayacucho

paint day at Carnaval is my favorite day ever

What is one thing that you will never acostumbrar to? Piropos, I still see red. Catcalls, grrrr.

How do you handle the piropos? Depended on the day and how much energy I had, my reactions ranged from ignoring them (while muttering curse words under my breath), to trying to shame them by walking up to them and telling them how disrespectful they were, to fake vomiting in front of them as I passed by. These are one of my least favorite things.

What scares you the most about returning to the States? Not finding a job.

Best read during service: So many to choose from! But I’ll go with  A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.

What did you miss most about the States? Besides the obvious answer of family and friends, Bloody Marys.

What have you done in Peru for the first time in your life? Ran a 10k in Pacasmayo and then the Lima 21k this year.

Also forget to mention that I went zipling for the first time, went on a 3 day raft race adventure on the Amazon River, and fulfilled my lifelong dream of holding a monkey.

Most memorable day in site: My 24^th Birthday.  Great day with fellow PCVs and my host family.

wiping the tears from my face

Have you changed? How so? Yes, I think it’d be pretty hard to not change in an experience like this. I am more confident in my abilities, I am more humble, patient, laid back and happy with the person I am.

What kept you going when times were tough? Inspiration from other amazing volunteers, just taking time for myself: keeping in touch with friends back home, exercising, reading, or watching an entire season of Game Of Thrones.

Shout outs: Betty Z. Brittany McLaren, Morgan Siegel, Andrea Mallory. You people are just lovely human beings I will miss being able to see you around Peru.

And to all the other 19ers, you are seriously incredible human beings. Abrazos a todos. Also of course Gioconda Zoller, my darling 20er who is a wonderful person!

Beezee aka Colombian superwoman 

Morgs-one of the sweetest human beings EVER

this lady Andrea is cooler than the flipside of the pillow

training bestie Brittanaaay

COS conference-These people are hysterical, you won't meet anyone like 'em #besttraininggroupEVER

I feel incredibly lucky to have worked alongside these folks for two years of my life. Because of them, I am changed for the better

Gia y yo

Countdown is as follows: 17 days left in Pimentel (holy shit), 22 days left in Peru (can't believe this is ending), 25 days til I'm Des Moines (I can't wait to surprise my mom), and 30 days left til I'm in mi querido Cedar Falls (tubing on the river that weekend, capiche?)

Abrazos fuertes from Peru until I can hug ya'll for realsies!!!!

Last month

The end of April, all of May and half of June have gone by rapidly.  The past couple months have been a whirlwind of emotions-self-doubt, excitement, sadness, panic, and now working my way to acceptance of the finality of my service. When I reflect back to two years ago I had little idea of what my life would be like as a Peace Corps volunteer. I imagined living in the middle of nowhere with no electricity and going to the nearby well to collect water while little children followed me around town. Suffice it to say I went into this experience rather blindly. Two months of training in Chaclacayo-Lima, Peru and the only response we got about what our lives would be was “it depends.” I remember hearing that phrase so much it annoyed and angered me but I had gotten myself into this and no way a little mystery was going to scare me away. When I finally got my site assignment and heard I’d be moving to a beach town, I think my first thought was uhhhh what? Two years later I have accepted that phrase, it really just fucking depends. It didn’t matter if my fellow volunteers lived 5 minutes or 24 hours away; they had entirely different experiences and for so long that was bane of my PCV existence. I would grit my teeth and turn green with jealousy looking on the facebook pages of my fellow PCVs of the work they had accomplished. But another volunteer pointed out, they post what they want you to see and they could be struggling just as much as you behind closed doors. It made me feel better but still doubtful. Now, I do admit I have doubt left in my heart about whether or not I was the best volunteer I could be. However with the help of my amazing volunteer friends, I have realized that I need to be proud of what has been done. I lived away from home for two years; sacrificing comfort and being perpetually lonely much of the time but at the same time sustaining a bond with my host family that will stay in my heart for the rest of my life. I attempted to create projects in my site, no, they didn’t all succeed, but I did try, maybe not as hard as I could of or as hard as another volunteer could have but I was here, I did this thing and I’m a better person for this experience and I am proud of me.

I’m sitting in a hostel in Chachapoyas, Amazonas, at the foot of the northern jungle, on my last vacation as a PCV, with one of my best volunteer friends Gioconda, trying to keep warm and thinking about how little time there is left. 1 Volunteer Report File, 1 Final Community Report (written in Spanish), 1 Description of service, 1 month rent to pay, a dozen or so items on my bucket list (some include learning how to make my fav Peruvian dishes to share with ya’ll) and so many farewells left between me and home. It’s like reverse when I was getting ready to leave the states, packing my things, doing all the things I will miss before saying goodbye. It’s a strange strange feeling to have for so much time longed for home in the states, now certain that I’ll feel this longing back when I’m at home. Friends back home, I will need your patience and love when I return probably more so than while I was here. Wish me luck on my last month in site. Can’t wait for those abrazos from everyone!!!! 

10 Reasons Why Ayacucho Easter > USA Easter

The route

Peru being a predominately Catholic country, they take Easter very seriously here and in Ayacucho you will want for nothing when it comes to their Easter celebrations, here are the reasons more or less in the order that they happened.

1. The view

nuff said

courtesy of Mike Kowalick-fellow PCV

2. Time off

In the United States people with office jobs rarely work on Sundays so Easter is not an extra day off but in Peru, schools and most office jobs get  Holy Thursday, Holy Friday, and the weekend off to celebrate.

3. Running with the bulls
This year we heard rumors that this particular activity would be cancelled; I later found out that the municipality of Ayacucho had actually prohibited the event but like many safety regulations in Peru (i.e. stop signs and traffic lights) it was ignored and I got to see this interesting event take place. I didn't see the beginning when they first released the bulls but I saw three run down the street one by one, attached by rope to a man on a horse. I was holding the hand of a fellow volunteer and we were getting ready to join the crowd to be chased by the bull but we both chickened out; I was honestly more scared of being trampled by the hordes of people more than the bull, we just stayed on the side hoping the bull wouldn't run towards us. I really wish I had video to share but I was in awe and didn't want to get distracted by my camera. Here is a picture I took off of google. I was standing farther down on the left side of the right street of the picture.

courtesy of Google images

4. Sexy fire men 
After the running with the bulls excitment we stood in the plaza and watched as a firetruck drove by; we were worried that someone had gotten injured but when the truck stopped and two firemen began to unravel the hose, we realized we were all about to get sprayed down...which was a relief because Ayacucho is a lot closer to the sun than Pimentel, I was gettin' crispy.

Photo courtesy of Mike Kowalick-fellow PCV

As I have told many of you back home, it is rare for me to be attracted to a Peruvian man. I don't know if this particular case was because he was a fireman but the other Peace Corps gals who were around also commented on this guy's good looks but alas we have been here a long time... anyways after the cool down we continued to hang out in the plaza to wach the human towers.....

5. Human Towers

When I first heard of this tradition I pictured human pyramids-groups of people on their hands and knees piling onto each others' backs. However the reality was people standing on each others' shoulders and the person at the top taking off their shirt. I decided I didn't want to risk concussion so I just enjoyed watching the toppling towers of drunk people and proceeded to nap at this point of the day.

6. The fireworks 

There aren't many words I can say to describe to you how amazing the fireworks were this night, I do have a short video to try to paint the picture but ya still kinda had to be there, but please watch anyway!

7. Food

The food in Peru is magnificent, I do have complaints sometimes about the way it is prepared and the amount of oil used and lack of variety but gosh darn it if it isn't some of the tastiest foods on the planet. It's not just the tastiness either, I will be missing the accessibility to food in Peru. Walking down the street amoungst celebrations, getting the drunkie munchies and women are selling bags of freshly popped popcorn, candy covered apples, hand made ice cream (sooo rico), anticuchos, and other goodies! 

this lady is about to serve me delicious handmade ice cream 

8. Dancing

Never have I ever stayed out til 5 in the morning.,. until coming to Peru. Without bar closing times and when I have the ganas it is pretty easy to stay out dancing until sunrise. During these celebrations there is no lack of discotecas full of swaying people or bands in the plaza playing huayno until your feet hurt. 

9. Procession

Hours were spent arreglando this arc (that might be the word, I honestly don't know) for the procession,
it is so huge that it takes a few dozen people to carry it out on their shoulders through the plaza. Honestly I didn't stay up to watch the whole procession, my eyes refused to stay open any longer as they were bringing this huge thing out of the church at 5am!

10. Friends
This trip would not have been the same if it hadn't been for the awesome people I was with. 19ers-you are an amazing group of people, all vacations are made better when I'm around them. So happy I got to see my friend Sam after such a long separation.

love these ladies! Photo courtesy of Mike Kowalick. 

 Sam and Garrett, my new awesome buddy  who accompanied Sam on this trip from Austin

Samuelllll 

Carlhey posing with the penis face masks in a pizza restaurant....so classy

Look how tired I am, this was on our last day in Ayacucho with this beautiful babe, my fellow 19er Andrea

Can't believe how fast the time the time has gone, look out for my next blog post most likely featuring me freaking out about how close I am to finishing  my service!

P.S. Please please please donate to our girls leadership camp this year taking place June 27-29; follow this link to see a description, all donations are tax deductible and EVERY single penny is used towards this camp, you'd be surprised how much we could buy for 5 dollars... if you cannot donate at least post the link to your facebook so others may see it!

Posh Corps

I can’t tell you how many times volunteers have come to my site and have asked incredulously “THIS IS YOUR SITE?!” I consider myself very lucky, I live on the beach, I have a supermarket in my town that sells luxury items like Coke Zero, Doritos and boxes of Mac & Cheese, my host mom doesn’t yell at me to get out of the kitchen and I am also accustomed to running water 3 times a day, in the early morning, around lunchtime and in the evening for two hours each. Well, on Sunday I found myself taken out of the “Posh Corps” and put in a very unsavory position in which I went 2.5 days without running water. To write this is very trivial because half of the people who read this (Americans) will gasp at that number while many volunteers do not have running water in their site or it often comes out a murky brown color. Alas, I still am writing about it. For the past 2 days I have run to the faucet at the allotted times when water usually leaves, apprehensively waiting, hoping that glorious mixture of hydrogen and oxygen would come spilling into the sink. I went for a run on Sunday and cleaned myself with baby wipes; yesterday I resigned myself to skipping the exercising as to not add to my rank smell.

This morning I woke up early, nervously made my way into the kitchen and YES! I had never been so happy to see running water, I nearly did a cartwheel, except it was not the clear, clean water I was used to.  Plop. At midday today, the water did not come at it prescheduled time. Frack. Water is a whore, a tease who I previously thought I could count on but then leaves me for days and comes back but only to show up for a quickie. WAIT. Ten minutes before they shut off the water I decided to try it again. YIPEE! Here is it is again, this time it is renewed, pure. I rushed to the bathroom to grab a bucket and filled it until the last drop fell so I could bucket bathe this afternoon. Never have I ever been so excited to bucket bathe. It was luxurious. I didn’t have enough of the clean water for a complete cleanse so I began with the murky brown h20 and ended with the good stuff. I feel human again.

This blog post is an ode to volunteers in Peru and around the world who often goes days, months, and even the whole 2 years without running water, taking baths in the river or carrying buckets from the well. You are strong souls. 

That time my host mom turned 80

 The 80th birthday is basically a sweet 16 for the eldery. It is a big blow out and my host family threw my host mother a great big 8-0 celebration. They asked me to invite one of my volunteer friends and we had a great time. Here are some pictures from that paaarty.

Betty (one of favorite PCVs) with my host mama

que lindas

The Entrance

mmmm cake

mariachi band seranading my mother

host bro and ma

one of those occasions when there is no birthday cake in the face

bonitaaas

hermanitaas

love this lady, one of host brother's daughters

my beautiful host niece Claudia but she's more like a sister 

 Don't have too much to say about this event. It was a lot of dancing and yummy food. Betty and I were pretty exhausted by 2am and went to sleep but many of them were up til 5am and continued to party all the next day! Peruvians know how to raise the roof!